Sunday, July 26, 2009

Boys

Wow. Things have been rough lately. Summer time just seems hard. I feel like I want to be one of those mothers who are SO glad when school is out, who LOVE all of the time they get to spend with their children and look forward to it all summer long. I TRY to feel that way. Honestly. But it is hard...
I've decided that maybe I just need to learn my limitations. And not say yes to things that I know might not go well. A large, unfenced outdoor area with surrounding woods is just not a good place to take 4 little boys, 2 of whom live for exporing, catchin bugs, digging in the dirt and other things that make it hard to not lose them in wooded areas. If we're on our way to a party or playdate and things are not going well - they will not get into the car, they are fighting, someone is crying - I should trust my gut and maybe just stay home. It isn't going to get better. Being stubborn and optimistic about it doesn't seem to help.
A friend (actually 2) told me today that I just look frazzled and stressed lately. I hated hearing that. I don't want to be a 'stressed out' mom. I don't want people to feel like they don't want to have me or my children over because it will be 'stressful' or sometimes insane. But I'm not really sure what to do about it either. Is there a magic formula for keeping little boys from fighting?? Or convincing them there are fun things to do in one small confined area? To make them turn on their listening ears when their mother is talking to them?? Do other mothers of 7, 5 1/2, 4 and 1 year old boys have these same problems??
Sigh. I'm tired of being embarrased and frustrated in front of my friends and family. Or even strangers. Maybe I should just keep them home until they get older?? Will that help?
Raising children is really a tough thing. If any one of the children had been a girl, I believe the dynamic would be different. Especially between W and E. A particular kind of evil seems to ensue when you put an 'energetic' 7 year old with an 'energetic' 51/2 year old. Jumping off of the dresser onto the bed, running off into the woods to keep from having to get in the car, whipping the cart around in wide circles in the grocery store - causing their mother to fear for the safety of their baby brother, as well as others, sneaking every kind of bug and amphibian they can catch into the car and/or house, wrestling each other down to the ground in the middle of the store, yard, other people's living room, etc.
So anyway, I guess I'm glad that school will start again soon. I'm ashamed to say it. But it's a fact. I'll miss them. And I'm sad that E is old enough for kindergarten. But it's about time...
On a side note - whichever sister gave the boys the Che Guevara T, it's very popular and quite a conversation piece in some circles. :) I just received another compliment on it today.
I've just been provided a gun (made of train-track pieces) so that I can 'protect myself' so that's all for now. I guess I forgot to mention how fun they are! :D

5 comments:

Sarah said...

I think summer is hard for most parents. Except for those strange people who feel the need to home school their kids so that they have them at home ALL the time. I would go INSANE. I only have two boys, and one is just a baby, but I still have a minor breakdown when J goes to work, and big breakdown right before nap time, and then total melt down time before J comes home from work. And doing anything is like a huge ordeal. There is always a point (and I never know when it will be) when both of them are crying whenever we try and do anything. So finally I decided that we didn't need to go on some big even every morning. A slow and short walk is good enough to get out of the house. It is hard though. Even though I barely naps during nap time anymore--it is a huge help to have 2 hours where he is in his bed have quiet time--if I didn't have that I would seriously lose it.

And can I tell you how many rocks and sticks I find all over the house, patio, car, stroller etc.

Becky said...

Thanks Sarah! Honestly! I needed to hear that today. :)

Wendy said...

Oh Becky, I will tell you that if there was a girl in the mix major whining would come into your life. I don't care what anyone says, God only gives us the amount of children we can handle. He knows that you are the perfect mom for those little boys. Hang in there school does start again soon. I like think that someday about twenty years from now we are all going to chuckle about how ornrey we thought our children were, and what good kids we have raised.

Mical said...

Well, all my RSS feeds stopped working! Grr... just saw this now. Sorry to hear you are overwhelmed! Not too much longer though!!!

Ashley said...

Awww.. it does get stressful! But you are a good mom and you let them be boys! More than I can say for myself. I think I've kept Jonathan from some of the truly boyish things like uggg worms! Love the end of the blog. Too cute! Was the gun enough to protect you?